Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
