Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
