I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have already put on my inside pants.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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