Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize