The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
