I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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