I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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