i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
