i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This is not my ceiling
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
