I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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