If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
