Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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