I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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