It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
