Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she told me i tasted like america
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize