Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
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