just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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