If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
