Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
