I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
