I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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