I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Pooping to opera.
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