Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
