then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
