Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
