I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
