I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
