1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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