Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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