Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
