it wasn't lemon gatorade
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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