So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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