But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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