No awkward lesbian experiences without me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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