I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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