i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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