I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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