Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
