to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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