Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
