Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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