i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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