i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize