Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
