yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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