Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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