She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
