I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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