Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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