she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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