Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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