He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize