why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
