Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
