I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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