i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
