what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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