Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
