I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
