her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't turn off my feet"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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