I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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